I want a new duck, not a quail or an owl.

You might look at this and say 'lego brick' but in fact it is actually a Costco milk jug. I recently attended the land of the insanity & everything rude, otherwise known as Costco, and remembered my child was out of milk. (or so I thought. Come to find out we had some milk in the fucking fridge but that tidbit has nothing to do with this rant) So I'm like holy shit we need milk and we grab a couple gallons, I would have grabbed one, but you can't cuz they sell em in 2's, what they should do is sell them in 5 gallon jugs but I'll save kerteeking for later.

Anyway, when I purchased this bullshit I didn't really notice that it was shaped like a fucking cardboard box and has virtually nothing for a spout. Holy shit, this bitch is a box with a hole in it! Have you ever tried to pour liquid out of a container that wasn't designed to do so? Yup, that's right, it goes fucking everywhere. So here I am 7am, little toddler wanting nothing more than some mother fucking milk, and I'm raging because Costco decided to reinvent the milk jug. It has a larger than average hole to pour from and I'm trying to get it into a smaller than average lil kids cup! Idiots.

They have to put a disclaimer up in this bitch saying that it isn't intended for use on little kids. Or maybe they should give away a pump like they do with the huge fucking container of chocolate sauce. I'd totally be okay with a pump. Even giant bottles of Jagrmeister come with a fuckign pump. How can you pour booze into a shot glass from a giant bottle. Boom, a pump.

I know I know you sell them like that because they fucking stack but you need to work on the usefulness of that worthless pile of shit. I have no idea what I'm going to do with 1.9 gallons of shittyly contained milk but I do know this....

Stop selling milk all together because you fucking suck at it.

Where is this really going??

The older I get the more I find myself saying 'I really don't like politics' but I find myself having lots of opinions on it. So I guess that's redundant? I dunno. I think I'm more aware of them, hey I watch World News tonight at 5:30 every day with dinner. Which is another weird thing because I just yell at the lady the whole time saying shit like 'This isn't fucking world news. This is the Micheal Jackson trial, fuck him. How is THIS news?' I should make a post all about that but maybe next week. This fine day it's all about the Occupy Wall Street 'rallies'.

Now I'm probably more democrat than conservative but I always fucking try to look at both sides. I mean what's the fucking point of just jumping each other's beliefs just because they choose to be a donkey or an elephant? Fuck it, look at shit from a different perspective. If you don't know what that means, stop. Just fucking stop. Stop what? Stop fucking breathing.

So there are a zillion fucking people protesting wall street and how the big wigs (ya that's and old term when people used to wear wigs, now you know) how they are all crooks and should be arrested and shit, AND to make Merica' see that our government is corrupt and corporations rule it. Well no shit? This isn't a new fucking fad dick-lickers. I guess camping in different cities is the only way to get this shit across?

It's really fucking weird to me that they don't have a list of demands. What the fuck do they want, an apology? Do they want some people arrested? Do they want someone to hand everyone 100 thousand dollars? The news (where these people really want to get their voice heard) doesn't even know what the fuck they want. I thought to myself on the 13th day or some shit 'Why is the news not reporting on this shit? (yup it was world news, haha!). It dawned on me that they its hard to report on lame for 13 fucking days.  I really don't get it, and there seems to be no where that really explains it well. Maybe they are just making a point, I dunno.

I'm willing to bet, like any insanely large group of people, that a good 50% of the people doing this shit don't know why the fuck they are there. Clueless even. Just like the WTO riots in Seattle, what a cluster fuck.

I just really ranted and didn't make any real points (like most of my posts) but seriously what do they want? I understand its a protest, a demonstration if you will, but you have to come up with something. Maybe you are simply saying 'stop it', I don't think that is going to work

Some people are prolly thinking 'How can you call yourself a democrat if you don't believe in this?' I've got an answer for you. It is because I'm not a fucking nut and I use my own brain. Whatever. Do your thing, I bet its fucking cold at night. Yeah, should have thought that through a bit more and protested in Summer dumb fucks.

You must hit 88!!

Some day I'd like to go back in time and fix something. I'd like to eliminate the term global warming and replace it with climate change. It isn't because I don't believe in the whole theory it's simply because people are so fucking dumb they don't know what it means. I swear to Jesus himself that people think we are in a fucking ice age and that isn't what's happening. Whenever I read the news online during the fall or early winter and it happens to be snowing out swarms of idiotic mother fuckers come out of who knows where and say: "Where's your global warming at now?? HUH? LOL ROFLCOPTER!" Fuck you cuntface. That's right I called you a cuntface, the sticky yucky place no one ever wants to think of, or even say for that matter.

No, it isn't snowing. Yes, I wish it were Santa Claus day.

Today's Smarmy Society

You look like this in my mind every time you say iPhone instead of phone or telly.

Some of my followers are probably wondering why I've waited this long to talk about one of my most hated enemies - Apple products. Now I'm sure they are fun overpriced gadgets to play with or whatever that's not the entire point I'm trying to make with this shit, its the mentality. Every fucking body I know that has one has to point out that they are using their iPhone or iPad or iPod instead of their phone, mp3 player, or computer/tablet. It's like they get one of those fucking gold stars you used to get from elementary teachers in grade school when you did well on a test, every time they coin the iWhatever. Maybe it is policy when you buy an iProduct that you have to say it. Do you get a kick back?



I find it funny that if you own an old model of an iProduct then you are immediately labeled as lame because that is 'so old' but if the same person saw a guy with a Walkman and was playing tapes he'd be so retro and cool. Fuck you. The dude/dudette probably is strapped for cash got it on a deal and its all they can afford but fuck him/her anyway cuz they prolly overuse the word iPod anyway. The dude with the walkman is prolly just like my brother who has close to 300 pounds of 8 tracks in his garage. Hoarder. While we did get drunk and listen to KISS on 8 track while hanging up a Christmas tree on Xmas eve, 8 tracks shouldn't exist. (If you read that fast and it looks like: while we did get drunk and kissed - reread it mother fucker)

The iPod - The first to bust on the scene. Ugly. That was simple. You say that's a stupid as fuck argument but do you buy ugly cars? Clothes? Do you like to look ugly? Nope. This thing doesn't have a choice it is ugly and I don't buy ugly(most of the time), damn it.

The iPad - The only reason why this thing 'made it' was marketing. Tablet computers have been around for quite a while before this POS but I suppose when you limit the capabilities and make giant icons and put a little i in front of the name POOF its popular. Fuck off with that shit. Again, you get people that say 'Ya sitting in my chair using my iPad to browse the web.' I don't fucking care.  I'm going to drive my Dakota to the store while wearing my Smith & Wesson sunglasses to get some Safeway milk. (I actually had to get off my recliner to look and see what brand ye ol sunglasses were. I flipped over my recliner while typing this to see what brand it was and I couldn't find a brand so I'll just call it the Mor Furniture recliner because that's where I got it.)

The big fucking kahuna, the creme da la creme - The iPhone or more importantly the iPhoner. I've been at social events where everyone in the room is typing away on these fucking things. Why are we all here? Can't I just be at home instead of everyone bragging about the latest iPhone they have? Mother fuckers rush out and get the newest one because it is new. Why? Oh yeah for fucking status!! Choo choooooo - here comes the I don't give a fuck train! Some people also bitch about being broke all the time, yet they have the latest and greatest phone, stupid. People go out to eat and immediately plug into Facebook where they are, then check their email, play a dumb game. Nigga please! You are going out to eat with friends or family - disconnect and have a fucking conversation. No one gives a shit that you are eating at Pete's Taco Palace. I use this thing a lot for work. No you don't. You play Angry Birds or use Facebook on your iPhone because those options are blocked on your computer.The biggest and most retardedest feature has got to be 'auto correct'. People bitch about that shit everyday and its fucking dumb because you can turn it off. Turn it off please. Spare me from reading OH WHOOPS AUTO CORRECT STRIKES AGAIN! I'm sorry I didn't mean pussy I meant peaches.

Before my shit gets jumped (again) I will like to point out that iThink the smartphone is fantasmic for the uber busy, multitasking working person. That being said if you work at Burger King, you don't fucking need one for work.

AROOOOOOOOOO!

I'd like to say that I'm feeling tipsy from ye ol Silver Bullets and it's nice. Drinks and PS3 I'ma kill me some motha fuckin bad guys.

Over 1000 views in 17 days? Really?

The tall one is the Costco fiasco.

Would you just look at that graph, looks like an equalizer n shit. 17 days and over 1000 views. I think that is a lot but I'm not sure. Well fuck it, its a lot to me.

I'm a stats junkie. I love to look at the numbers, I could look at them all day. Actually most days I just keep the stats page up and refresh it all day just to see another number or better yet another country pop up.

Funnest stat category EVER!

Would you look at that map! This is one of my favoritest ever stats to look at. Who in their right mind would look at my shit from Russia or Germany or any of these great countries?!? I encourage you to leave comments pleease - that's my second favorite next to stats. I don't mind if they are in a language I can't read, I actually encourage that even more! I wanna say I got comments from Russia, IN RUSSIAN!! I know where Google translate is - even if you call me a giant monkey penis, its okay, I'll still show off my comment, maybe make a t-shirt!

Dumb fucker can't remember his own blog name.

They track referring sites and search words too! Look at those dumb fuckers on the bottom who can't spell HAHAHA! Half of those were me. I know right? When I first made this cool hang out I had too look up how to spell the word 'strictly' (fuck you). Its a tricky son of a bitch. Then it seems I couldn't even spell the super fun key words, oh well it makes for fun stats.

You can't really read the referring stites because I'm using Paint at 6am in the fucking morning on a Saturday. I'm not going to get super creative with 3d fuckin words and shit in Photoshop. I'll make a promise. When I hit 10 thousand views you'll get the fuck out of some 3d words.

I'm not sure how you go from  www.cronixsoul.com to here but I'm fucking glad you did. In fact I'm going to tell people to visit your site because I looked at it and it's pretty neat. www.cronixsoul.com

11 people from reddit.com came here. Nice nice I'm pretty sure it was because I spammed it on there for a couple days and then I forgot about it. It should be 99 people from reddit came here. There are even some comments from there. You guessed it, I left them.

Excitebike ramps mutha fucka!!

Look at that! It looks like ramps from Excitebike! I may have to play that later. Check out those comments too, 39 HOLLA AT YOUR BOY! I love comments. I suppose I like them because I know that someone actually read what I hate to write. (Sorry for the waste of time, but I hope you laughed).

I see some clouds forming outside that look like a hurricane so I'm going to post this before I get canned.

This is Friday.