Yup, this one is to you Cryptic Facebook Poster.
"Ugh" This has to be my most hated Facebook post ever. It's just screams "Ask me! Ask me! Ask me about my day!" I really don't care about your day if you are having a shitty one, or spice it up with "I'm having a really shitty day, this n this n this n that has happened already and it is only noon." That is way funner. I always reply with something fun like "Unicorns Going Hostile".
"Sigh." That's another lame one. Obviously you are posting a sigh for 'attention getting' and some sort of sympathy.
"I can't wait." Can't wait for what? If we are talking about Santa Claus, you and me are on the same mother fucking page.
"Insert one word status here" I'm not talking about funny stuff either. Funny like DOGFARTS! I'm talking about key words like worried, expected, anxious, excited. Mother fucking elaborate on your shit. (Unless you hit enter too fast then whatev).
There are many many more but when I first started writing this Zoey was supposedly sleeping and the idea juices were flowing. I got one word down after I took a dump when I was interrupted by screams. I'm on my second stint of Sesame Street and not feeling it. SO, as my friends list declines just remember peeps, I'm just keepin' it real and E-FUCKING-LABORATE!
I like to make stories up about people when they write this shit. "Gasp!" means "Oh my god, I'm pregnant with the gardener's triplets!" and "Sigh" means "Do I keep the third testicle or have it removed?"
ReplyDeleteOhhh, I like the testicle idea. Mostly I try to comment something outrageous on those, like this week my cousin posted about amazing life changing things happening! More info soon!! So I posted; Your mom get knocked up? It wasn't that, in case you're wondering. I try my best not to be vague. If I don't want to answer questions about it, I don't post it. Excellent call.
ReplyDeleteThat's totally what I'm talking about!
ReplyDelete